Its not really in any order

Unwritten Law - Rescue me (acoustic version) Lyrics:
Shut down
Fallin over once again
Dropped out
Hand extended for a friend
Looked up
And there's you lookin in
And who cares
Cause no ones lookin anyway
Impaired
My vision lost it yesterday
And that's fine
Don't mind feelin that way
Just don't let me lie here by my self
Let’s go
I know I'm faded
Outta sight
Tonight
Just stay with me, I don't wanna go home
Outta sight
Tonight
Just rescue me
I don't wanna go
Rewind and take me back to start again
Ducked out cause paranoia's settin in
But I'm with you until the end
One ride
We'll drive around the parkin lot
No pride
Cause I don't seem to care a lot
No cash
This change is all I got
Just don't let me ride here by myself now
Let’s go
I know I'm faded
Outta sight
Tonight
Just stay with me, I don't wanna go home
All right
Tonight
Just rescue me, I don't wanna go
So set still
One last thrill
Just stay with me and we'll never go home
Outta sight
Tonight
Just rescue me and we'll never go home
Yeah we'll never go home Yeah
I don't wanna go
One more ride
One time once again
Just climb in
I'm still climbing yeah
One more ride
One time once again
Just climb in
I'm still climbing
Outta sight
Tonight
Just stay with me, I don't wanna go home
All right
Tonight
Just rescue me, I don't wanna go
So set still
One last thrill
Just stay with me and we'll never go home
Outta sight
Tonight
So rescue me and we'll never go home

Sometimes I  just sit and listen to music and just let my imagination go wild. I think about what would happen if I make a certain choice, I think about me just packing up my stuff and just leaving, not telling anyone. Not my family or my friends. I think about what would happen if I went back in time and righted a wrong that happened in my life. I just sit and think. I try to think about the future, but mostly always I dwell on the past.

There are so many things that I just think I would love to do. Most of its just small things like taking a ride someplace that I've never been, going and having a drink at a coffee shop, to meet someone new and make a friend. I hold myself back though. I don't know why, but I do. I feel like I have so much potential but I don't try to use any of it.

I feel stifled sometimes. I try not to think about it or else I can't breathe and I start to panic. sometimes tears come to my eyes when I think about the huge hole I feel in my chest that is just unfilled. Its there and its deep and I can't seem to get rid of it. It sucks when I try to remember the happier times and all I can think about are the worst ones.

Sometimes I hate hearing laughter, and I just hate people in general. I just want to close myself off to the world. I am a outgoing person and it would kill me to close myself off from people, but there are times when I just have to. During these times I turn the music on full blast and just let it kill my ear drums, or I take a shower and turn the heat up so hot that my skin is completely red. During these times I just can't seem to get the water hot enough.

I bit my lip to pieces when I'm stressed. I peel pieces off with my teeth. when it's not my lips I bite my nails. When I'm nervous I laugh and I hate my laugh. to me its more of a cackle. I'm always tense and don't really like it when people touch me, hug or otherwise. I just don't like it and sometimes wish people would follow the rule of keeping their hands to themselves.

Sometimes I just want to chop my hair off myself. Be damned of what it looked like, but them I pick up the scissors and they don't feel right and I immediately put them down. Kissing people dont bother me for some reason. I don't see a peck on the lips as a sexual thing. girls or guys, kissing them dont seem to matter to me.

I really hate love and relationships, yet I always find myself in them. Its frustrating and blissful and I stress myself because I hate it SO MUCH. I like comfortable clothes but that doesnt make me any less of a female.

I constantly complain about myself, yet I don't change even though I really should. I think I'm scared of change

I'm told I'm easy to talk to and that I actually listen, yet people don't like me to look at them straight in the eyes. My eyes are so dark brown that sometimes you can't see the pupil at all.

Most of the time I hate something more than I ever love anything.

Yesterday was a horrible day.

I had a job interview and the women was a bitch. She basically put me down, I however maintained level headed although getting increasingly pissed. I dont think I'll get that job :(

So then we went to my grandma's house. I hate my grandma's house. Dont get me wrong I LOVE my grandma. Its just she has tons of birds and I HATE birds. so I spent a hour in a room full of birds. The parrot my grandma has decided its going to jump on my shoulder and bite my ear. Not nibble, BITE. After about 10 mins of trying to get it off of me they do it. It didnt help that the birds were so loud I ended up getting a migraine as well. I felt as though if I had spent a min longer than I did I would have killed someone. I mean it.

So I decided that since I had, had a horrible day I would get my hair dyed. I just wanted to do something for myself to make me feel better. I wanted light brown. I got BLONDE! so I'm hysterical cause I love my hair and its blonde, not something I wanted.

I call my boyfriend so that he could comfort me. He didn't, instead I get lectured. All I wanted for him was to tell me everything will be okay and everything will get better and be fixed. So I ended up arguing with him. He broke up with me. Told me he was going to be bringing my stuff to my house today and that I'm not his problem anymore.

So to sum it all up; I didn't get a job, I got a huge migraine and almost went on a killing spree, got my hair dyed the wrong color and my boyfriend dumped me....

How was your day?

okay so I told you all I saw Stephen Lynch a couple of days ago, and I can't get this song out of my head!


Stephen Lynch - Fishin' Hole Lyrics

Wanna have some quality time with my son
So I brought him down to the fishin' hole
Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand
Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole

Said, "That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream"
"Let your old man buy you a treat"
But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall
Started crying, and ran into the street...

He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole
I swear it just don't float my boat
Always crying, always crying
Made me wanna punch him in his little throat
Called my lady up to tell her what had happened
How our son had run away
She said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him"
"And everything will be okay"

My lady's an asshole, she's an asshole
Her assholishness is off the charts
Always perfect, always perfect
Made me wanna punch her in her lady-parts

I decided I'd go down to the bar
And drown my sorrows in a beer
But the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations'
'We'll open up again next year'...

That bar is an asshole, it's an asshole
Oh, the worst bar in the land!
Always closing, always closing
Can't punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand
I went home to forget about my troubles
Sat down in my favorite eazy chair
But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin'
As my hemorrhoid began to flair...

My asshole's an asshole, a real butthole
Needs to put his asshole-self in check!
Always burning, always itching
Made me wanna punch him in his asshole neck

Late one night, lyin' awake in bed
Mmmm, a realization came
Are there really assholes everywhere I look?
Or am I the one to blame?
Maybe I just do not say the things I should say
And I don't do the things I ought
So I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror
And this is what I thought...
The guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole
Son of a bitch said it was antique
He was lyin', he was lyin'
Made me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek

I'm on a real asshole streak
I could open up an asshole boutique
I think this song has reached it's peak
Goodbye, you assholes, see you next week!

Friday May 4th, I went to see Stephen Lynch Live at the wiltern. ITS WAS HILARIOUS! I was laughing so hard I cried. It was one of the best days so far. just so awesome! I suggest to anyone that has not heard of him to go on Youtube now and look him up.

Hopefully I'll be going to see Star Trek when it comes out. (Yea I'm a nerd so what?) It looks like such a great movie!!!!

on a sad note, I've been gaining weight and I hate it. my jeans are becoming tight!!!! UGH!!! I need to work out more. Also I don't have a job yet, I've applied to like over a 100 different places and that was just last month. Hopefully I'll get one soon, just got to keep trying!!!!!

I woke up today with such a splitting headache. I was just grumpy the entire day, I also had a job interview. I waited in the waiting room for a whole hour to be viewed by the person. 'Red Red Wine' was played over and over and over, I thought I was in hell. When the woman finally came out to interview me, it didn't take very long, like five minutes. That woman talked SO freaking fast. It was weird. She told me that I would know by 6:00pm (its past 6) and I would know if I could come back for a second interview, I was so grumpy I said screw it and went out and got the biggest, greasiest cheese burger I could find and right now I'm devouring it.

I HATE looking for a job, I wish one would just magically come to me

The Interview went okay, I kinda had the feeling they want someone with a degree. Oh well. I got another one tomorrow at 3:30 in Carson. That's much closer to where I am.

I've been playing tennis to try to help me lose weight. Its been so hot lately that I've been sweating gallons. I drank a uncountable number of water yesterday, the heat has been making me not so hungry as well. I'm going to play tennis later today as well. I'm glad

I have a job interview tomorrow at 11:00am in El segundo. Wish me luck

 </lj-embed>This isn't the video its just the song but I suggest you listen. Its from Iron Maiden, one of the best bands ever.

Lyrics:

Brave New World- Iron Maiden
Dying swans twisted wings, beauty not needed here
Lost my love, lost my life, in this garden of fear
I have seen many things, in a lifetime alone
Mother love is no more, bring this savage back home

Wilderness house of pain, makes no sense of it all
Close this mind dull this brain, messiah before his fall
What you see is not real, those who know will not tell
All is lost sold your souls to this brave new world


A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world

Dragon kings dying queens, where is salvation now
Lost my life lost my dreams, rip the bones from my flesh
Silent screams laughing here, dying to tell you the truth
You are planned and you are damned in this brave new world


A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world


A brave new world, in a brave new world
A brave new world, in a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world
In a brave new world, a brave new world

Dying swans twisted wings, bring this savage back home

Hopefully I'll be able to go this year. The 4 day and Saturday passes have all sold out. I can only really afford to go Friday this year, hopefully that wont sell out. Its already at 82% sold.

My brother is in jail, he decided to be stupid and get drunk and jailed. He will probably be released on house arrest. I dont really know how I am suppose to feel about this. A part of me doesn't really care, I just feel numb to it. another part of me, a much smaller part is a bit worried. Oh well

I'm in a slump and I need to get out

Lyrics:
The Weepies- World Spins Madly On
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

okay so my house doesnt have internet right now. :(. I'm currently at my BF house. things just get worse :(

Didn't get the job, just gonna have to keep looking.

This song is called 'Dear God' from XTC. Its a great song hope you listen to it.
The Video has the lyrics but I'll post them anyway.
XTC- Dear God

Dear god,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
cause they dont get enough to eat

From god,
I cant believe in you.

Dear god,
Sorry to disturb you,
But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
cause they cant make opinions meet,
About god,
I cant believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god,
Dont know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it aint and so do you,
Dear god,
I cant believe in,
I dont believe in,

I wont believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
Youre always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And its the same the whole world round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
That the father, son and holy ghost,
Is just somebodys unholy hoax,
And if youre up there youll perceive,
That my hearts here upon my sleeve.
If theres one thing I dont believe in...

Its you,
Dear god.

The interview went surprisingly well. Now I'm just waiting to see if they call............................................................... Please call!!!!

I'm sick now, I have a cold, I hate being sick and blame my friend Nick! I would be shaking my fist at him if he was here by me. Everyone is in a bad mood today so there is nothing but yelling going on at my house, I just locked myself in my room hoping people will just leave me alone.

I'm so tired of everything! I'm going to just scream.

Today at a gas station which was packed I sat with my mother and waited about 10 minutes for a spot finally when we found one we were going to back into it when a woman with her sports car came and stole the spot. She never even waited. I think I reached my breaking point, cause next thing I knew I was pounding on her windshield calling her every single name I could think of. She looked at me like I was freaking Linda Blair, then drove off. Everyone was staring at me. So I started to laugh. I don't mean nervous giggles. I mean full blow is she insane laugh. So bad ....

I have no problem talking to anyone in case they ever want to talk. My AIM is Fricklefragger and my MSN is Fricklefragger@hotmail.com ( Perfer MSN). Don't hesitate to send a msg!

I tried to post the video but, for some reason it wont let me so :(

When Rap was great *sigh*.


Lyrics:

Hello

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller,
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a 64' Impala

I wish I was like six-foot-nine
So I can get with Leoshi
Cause she don't know me but yo she's really fine
You know I see her all the time
Everywhere I go, and even in my dreams
I can scheme a way to make her mine
Cause I know she's livin phat
Her boyfriend's tall and he plays ball
So how am I gonna compete with that
'Cause when it comes to playing basketball
I'm always last to be picked
And in some cases never picked at all
So I just lean up on the wall
Or sit up in the bleachers with the rest of the girls
Who came to watch their men ball
Dag y'all! I never understood, black
Why the jocks get the fly girls
And me I get the hood rats
I tell 'em scat, skittle, scabobble
Got hit with a bottle
And I been in the hospital
For talkin' that mess
I confess it's a shame when you livin' in a city
That's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
Glad I came to my senses
Like quick-quick got sick-sick to my stomach
Overcommeth by the thoughts of me and her together
Right?
So when I asked her out she said I wasn't her type
(rpt 1, 1)

I wish I had a brand-new car
So far, I got this hatchback
And everywhere I go, yo I gets laughed at
And when I'm in my car I'm laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
But that's flat
And do you really wanna know what's really whack
See I can't even get a date
So, what do you think of that?
I heard that prom night is a bomb night
With the hood rats you can hold tight
But really tho' I 'm a figaro
When I'm in my car I can't even get a hello
Well so many people wanna cruise Crenshaw on Sunday
Well then I'ma have to get in my car and go
You know I take the 110 until the 105
Get off at Crenshaw tell my homies look alive
Cause it's hard to survive when your livin'
In a concrete jungle and
These girls just keep passin' me by
She looks fly, she looks fly
Makes me say my, my, my
(rpt 1, 1)

I wish I was a little bit taller...
I wish I was a baller...
I wish I was a little bit taller y'all
I wish I was a baller (3)

Hey, I wish I had my way
'Cause everyday would be a Friday
You could even speed on the highway
I would play ghetto games
Name my kids ghetto names
Little Mookie, big Al, Lorraine
Yo you know that's on the real
So if you're down on your luck
Then you should know just how I feel
Cause if you don't want me around
See I go simple, I go easy, I go greyhound
Hey, you , what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
Ahhhh, yes, ain't that fresh?
Everybody wants to get down like dat
(rpt 1, 1)

I wish, I wish, I wish...

A lot has happened in a week. My birthday, I turned twenty-two. I know I'm not old or anything but wow I'm starting to feel like it. Maybe it's my lack of a real social life? I don't know what it is but I don't like it. I just had a little gathering with my family. Unfortunately for me they had changed the time and everyone knew except me. ( Yes I accepted the fact that no matter what I did I couldn't get out of it)I ended up showing up 2 hours early.

My boyfriend got my two REALLY GREAT gifts.
The first one was a retro looking headphones from panasonic. They are extremely awesome and I can actually hear out of both ears!!!!
The Second was tickets to see Stephen Lynch on May1!!! I love his stand-up/songs and I can't wait for it.


On a Bad note, I have yet to get a job, but I got a job interview on Monday (Wish me luck please!!!!) hopefully it will go well. Its for a Order entry clerk in an accounting office. If I get this job so many things will open up in my life. I'll be able to actually drive my car instead of letting it rust in the drive way. I can go to school and get my Associates in Biology, then transfer and get my bachelors in Zoology. I'll be able to buy new clothes since the jeans, shirts and shoes are the things I had in high school. I could eat out and not feel guilty for my boyfriend paying for me. There is just so many things I could get done!!!

Remember to wear your green, DONT DRINK AND DRIVE, and try not to throw up all the green beer!